Marsha's Surgery

Talk about a shock!  We found out last Thursday afternoon that Marsha had a brain tumor.  It's one of those things you always think happens to other people but now it was happening to us.  I had talked to Marsha a week or so earlier when she was asking if I had ever had my lips and tongue go numb when I had one of my bad headaches.  She'd been having headaches for about 3 weeks and they weren't going away.  Ben & Marsha just moved to Springville after transferring back from Syracuse, NY for Ben to finish his last year of law school at BYU and just picked up medical insurance a week or so before.  Once she got insurance, she went to the doctor who suggested she do an MRI.

I talked to Marsha again on Tuesday and she said she was going to call to schedule an MRI but I never heard when she was going.  She called on Wednesday to tell Halen happy birthday and didn't say anything about it but apparently she had gone earlier that day.  I was so busy getting Halen's friend party ready on Thursday that I didn't take the time to call her even though I had thought about it several times.  I had asked my parents to come help take care of Mia while Randy & I do Halen's party and I could tell something was up when they got there but I was busy with the party and didn't ask what was going on.  Once we finished playing games and got the kids eating their pizza, my mom pulled me into the hall and said she had to tell me something.  She started crying and I really got scared.  She said, "they found a tumor".  My first thought was my grandma Singleton.  I started crying and all I could get out was "who & where?".  Once my mom composed herself a little, she told me it was on Marsha's brain.  I felt like I got punched in the stomach.  My head started reeling and I couldn't think straight.  She said something about it being between the brain and the skull which was good and that the dr didn't think it was cancer but didn't know for sure.  She had already been admitted to the hospital and had been started on a steroid to reduce swelling so they could operate as soon as possible.  So my mom & dad needed to get to Provo to help with the kids.  They headed back to Enterprise to pack before going to Provo.

We got more info as the night went on.  The tumor was on the back, left side of her brain about the size of a large apple.  The dr thought she had probably had it for about 3 years which makes a lot of sense once we started thinking back.  She's had ear aches, jaw pain, headaches & things like that starting about 3 years ago.  The ironic thing is that Marsha had scheduled MRI's twice before in the past couple years and had to cancel for one reason or another.  This must have just been the right time for it to be found.  I'm glad it happened here and not while they were in New York.

Ben & Marsha had met with the neurosurgeon and he gave them a lot of comfort.  He is a stake president and was having stake conference that weekend so he told them he wanted to do the surgery Friday morning.  He also asked them if it would be ok if he prepared his talk while he was operating.  Ü  He said he'd have to be very careful because there were so many nerves in the area he'd be working in.  Everything that controlled the left side of her body was right there...the movement of her left eye, hearing, drooping on the left side of her face, movement of the left arm & leg...so many things.  He said he had done several of these operations (one the day before) and 99.9% of the time the tumor is benign which gave us some hope.

The flash makes it a little hard to see but the white spot on the left is the tumor

My mom text me at midnight to let me know the surgery would be sometime around 7am.  I don't think any of us slept well that night...if at all.  I laid in bed thinking about how scared I was to have my gall bladder removed so I could only imagine how scared Marsha was.  My mom started sending text updates a little after 8 am.  The first one said, "took her down at 6:30 to prep her and are just now starting the surgery.  The dr said she is younger and more beautiful than most he sees and she is a young mother which puts more pressure on him but he likes pressure.  She's so scared."  I lost it at that point.  I knew how hard it would be for her to be awake to have them shave her hair.  My mom called during my breakdown & talking to her calmed me down a little.  I felt a sense of peace but I was still scared.  The surgery was going to last anywhere from 5-8 hours so I knew I just needed to keep busy and try to keep my mind off it...yeah right!

The next text came about 11:30 saying, "they came out and had the name of the tumor.  Of the 3 kinds she could have, it's the best. There is still lots to do so it will be awhile".  Just after noon, a text came saying, "they just came out & said they were done with the tumor.  Figured another hour to close.  They will send the piece to the lab. We hope that means they didn't have to dig much on the nerves".  Just before 2 the final text came.  It said, "she's out.  Everything went as hoped.  Just eyeballing it, it's not cancer.  Have to wait for report to be 100%.  Looks like all nerves work.  It all came out.  Looks like her hair was not too bad either.  She's really sick because they were working by the nausea center & she will be nauseated for days.  All seems good".  I couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief.  I knew there would be long road ahead of her but at least the news was good.

Marsha the day after surgery

They had Marsha up and walking within a couple hours of the surgery which was great.  Her neck muscles hurt as bad as her head does and she's had a little bit of double vision and numb fingers on her left side but was told it was just temporary.  She was moved out of ICU on Sunday and was able to shower on Monday.  Both left her very weak and had upset her stomach.  They were able to take all the tubes out and she was doing longer walks each time.  Her eyes burn when they're open so she keeps them closed most of the time.  Her voice is weak and quiet so she won't talk to anyone on the phone.  It's been hard not to talk to my best friend in almost a week.  We don't usually go more than 2 days without talking to each other so it's been tough.

Ben & Marsha decided it would be best to have their kids stay with grandparents for a few days until Marsha's released from the hospital later this week.  They're both doing ok even though they miss their mom.  She's going to have to have help for her and the kids for the next month.  Arrangements are still trying to be made for that so we'll see how it goes.  I feel so helpless and wish there was more I could do.  Now that Halen's started school, and with a 3 month old, it's hard for me to pack up and leave anywhere.  But right now I'm just thanking Heavenly Father that things have turned out as well as they have and Marsha will be around to raise her kids.  Everything happened so fast but I'm glad it did so we didn't have to wait and worry very long.

I know you have a long way to go Marsh, but I know how strong you are and I know you'll be able to get through this.  You have a lot of family & friends who love you and we're here to help any way we can.  Hang in there.  Love you!!!