I knew our time with grandma was getting shorter and I tried to prepare myself the best I could, but during that last couple of weeks, I almost dreaded any time that my mom called just because I worried it would be "THE call". That call came about 9am last Friday morning. It actually came from my dad because my mom wasn't able to talk. I knew what it was about as soon as I answered the phone because I heard him say in the background that he didn't know how hard it would be to tell everyone. I was in shock at first but it didn't take long for the tears to start.
I guess it happened pretty quickly. I talked to my mom about 5:00 the night before and things were going OK. Grandma had gone to the hospital on Tuesday to have a port put into her side to drain the fluid from her abdomen. They had to put her under to do the surgery and she had a really hard time recovering. The rest of Tuesday and all of Wednesday she had a hard time waking up and was in a lot of pain. On Thursday, she was doing a lot better and my mom felt like she was doing pretty well. Sharon had come from Colorado Springs on Tuesday to spend the week with grandma and my mom. Lee laid off his turn to go to work and had spent most of the day with them as well. My dad had come over after work and had dinner with them and said grandma even ate a little bit of the casserole which didn't happen much so he felt like she was doing OK too so he went home.
They put grandma to bed around 8pm but she just couldn't get comfortable and was in pain so they called home health to come look at her. The nurse felt that there was something wrong with the port and thought it would be best to go to the ER. So they called the ambulance to transport her the couple blocks to the hospital. Lee carried her out because she was too weak to walk on her own. Once at the ER, they were told there was nothing they could do but keep her comfortable so they decided to check her into a room for the night and gave her some morphine for the pain then they would take her home the next morning. My mom said that she would have moments when she thought that grandma was going to go that day then grandma would rally back and make my mom think that maybe she would hang on a while longer. Just in case though, she called my dad and Mike and told them to come down at about 2am. My mom said when they got there that they were very quiet and just walked over and whispered, "how's she doing?" All of a sudden my grandma perked up and in her very weak voice said, "Mike, what are you doing here in the middle of the night? Go home and get some sleep." She was always more concerned with others than she was herself.
Grandma was resting comfortably so they decided that it would be OK if some of them went back to my grandpa's to get a little sleep before bringing grandma home. Everyone left about 5am and left my mom and dad to stay with grandma. They slept off and on until about 6:30 when the nurse shift changed and the nurse came in to check on my grandma. Once the nurse left, my mom and dad laid down and again and after a few minutes realized that something had changed with grandma. They got up to check on her and watched her for a while and could see her breathing was getting further apart. My mom called Sharon and told her that they needed to come back to the hospital because she knew grandma was going and that they needed to hurry. About 2 minutes later, she could see grandma was going quick so she text Sharon to hurry faster. Grandma took 3 more breathes after that and went peacefully. Unfortunately, the others got there about 5 minutes later. It was just after 7am.
The next couple of days I went through a lot of ups and downs. I just couldn't believe that grandma was gone. I felt like until I saw her it wouldn't seem real. We went up to Enterprise on Sunday and went to church with my parents and hung out for the afternoon. Lots of people had brought food to my mom so we invited my grandpa over to eat dinner together. He seemed to be taking things pretty well. While Mia had a nap and the boys played with my dad downstairs, I sat with my mom in her room talking about grandma. We both had a good cry.
Later that evening, we went over to my grandma Simkins' to visit for a little bit then went to grandpa Singleton's where my mom was going to help Mike and grandpa finish the program for the funeral. I had to hesitate just a minute before walking into the living room knowing that grandma wouldn't be sitting in her chair. I've never been there when she hasn't been there. It was a very odd feeling. What made it even more odd was since Randy was the last to sit down and all the other seats were taken, he sat in my grandma's chair. He said he didn't know what to do in the situation but hoped it would be OK. He said he hoped no one was mad at him for it.
Tuesday morning, I had the opportunity to go to the mortuary with my mom and Marsha while Marsha did grandma's hair. My grandpa and Sharon both came as well. We walked into the room and saw grandma lying on the table. Of course emotions took over for a while and we all had our cry, but then it was like grandma was there saying, "It's OK. Don't cry." A calmness seemed to be with us in the room and although I thought it would be really hard for Marsha to do grandma's hair and for us to sit and watch, it was OK. Grandma looked really good. She looked healthier than she had for months and she had a slight smile on her face.
The viewing that night was really nice. Halen was anxious to see grandma and wanted to go through the line as soon as we got there. Randy's grandma passed away in October so we were able to explain a lot about death and heaven with the boys then so they didn't have as many questions this time. We were able to stand by the casket as a family and say goodbye.
Wednesday morning we drove up to Enterprise for the funeral. My grandma knew this day was coming so she requested 3 songs that she wanted sung at the funeral. She wanted "How Great Thou Art" which all the grandkids sang, "Oh My Father" that Josie and Shanon did a piano/cello duet and "Beyond the Sunset" that I played for Kris and Darin to sing. "Beyond the Sunset" was a song I had never heard when my mom told me grandma wanted us to do it. It was sung at my grandma's mother's funeral and it's a beautiful song. I didn't know if I'd be able to get through the song during the funeral, but again there was a calm about me that allowed me to do it. But once I got back to my seat I lost it. My mom did the eulogy and the tribute and she did a great job. Mike also told a few memories that were very nice to hear.
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| Leaving the church for the cemetary |
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| Whittney, Lee, Brent, Grandpa Singleton, IdaLee (grandpa's sister-in-law) |
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| The handsome pallbearers |
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| Randy laying his boutonniere on the casket |
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| Two sisters saying goodbye to their mom |
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| The flowers were beautiful |
1 comment:
Oh Alena, I have wanetd to call you so many times in the past week and I just couldn't bring myself to do it because I knew that I would just cry like I am doing now! I know how you are feeling and it is so hard to know that our sweet grandma's are not here anymore to take care of us, but it is sweet to know that they are in a better place where they don't hurt anymore. I loved reading about her and I know how much you love her and will miss her! I love ya!
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